Happiness and Suffering

There was a time in my life where I would not allow myself to feel happy. That may sound ridiculous and it was! Here was my naive logic reasoning behind it.

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If I allow myself to be happy, I knew it wouldn't last. I was running on an emotional high. And someday I would go feel low. Now not only would I feel low but the illusion that everything was perfect would fade. 

If I allowed myself to feel happy it would only force me to come to terms with the reality that something bad would happen soon because happiness does not last.

That would mean I would get hurt or feel pain. I tried to avoid that at all costs.

And the reason was because I did not recognize the beauty of suffering.

I attempted to avoid suffering. 

Now going back to happiness. happiness  is a beautiful feeling to expirience. And yes suffering is inevitable but when we are happy, we should allow ourselves the grand pleasure of feeling happy because The Lord wants us to feel that way. He gives us these small or big pleasures in life to appreciate them and be grateful for it. So if a sunset makes me happy, then by golly I will be happy because The Lord made the sunset for me to know his love and rejoice in all his goodness.